“In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away” – Shing Xiong

Saturday, November 1, 2014

7 ways you can handle toxic people

No, I am not re-posting this article, it is on Yahoo's scroll this morning if you want to look at it. Sensei offers a far deeper and more insightful but concise program based on the Buddha Dhamma in The Missing Peace.

A painfully glaring omission in the article was Compassion. It clearly placed the burden and the blame directly on the so called toxic person,creating a whole new category of people to hate and neglecting the idea that anyone and everyone has their moments in both the sun and the murk. If we merely change from complaining about our circumstances to complaining about "toxic people" and continue to place responsibility for our feelings outside of ourselves then nothing is resolved, no benefit is gained. Plays us perfectly like the sheep we are, and we can continue to be harvested and shorn with ease.

How do we transform the herd? The Practice. It begins and ends with the Four Noble Truths - there is a problem, it does not have to be a problem and we can do something and it is up to us (1,2,3,4). So let us know that (1)and generate the intention to follow thru (2). Then we change our behavior (3,4,5) and cultivate (6) awareness (7) and discernment (8). There you have the BuddhaDhamma on the head of a pin, the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path.

We cannot change our lives without changing others, like it or not we are all part of the whole. To change imperfect people or circumstances change the self. Start and end with compassion. The more effort applied the more result obtained.

1 comment:

  1. And ironically if we complain enough about "toxic people" we become one of "them".