refrain

• v.
  To hold oneself back; forbear: refrained from swearing.
• v.
  Archaic To restrain or hold back; curb.
• n.
  A phrase, verse, or group of verses repeated at intervals throughout a song or poem, especially at the end of each stanza.
  
  this is the third definition - and the refrain is: mean people are suffering - suffering is misery, unhappiness, pain. I have been reminding myself that when someone is mean it means they are suffering. "Misery loves company." Those who are suffering cannot see the pain they create, and cannot care, they are consumed with their own suffering, if they were happy they would see others and appreciate and enjoy the world around them.
  
  Often just acknowledging any emotion will dissipate its effect on the body mind, but those who are suffering are least likely to acknowledge that. The suffering takes hold and becomes a vicious circle.
  
  When we can disengage from our hurt we can generate compassion for ourselves and others and relieve their suffering thru forgiveness and understanding. We can stop the wheel from spinning. And why not? Clinging to suffering to pursue justice is just stupid. Clinging to suffering to seek out compassion and understanding is almost as bad. If the need for compassion and understanding is present then give them, they do not have to come from others.
  
  Do not tell the story, just let go and get on with life. It is best to realize that those we care about most are also the most likely to bring about our suffering - if we choose to have that happen. We can choose to acknowledge pain and let it go. We may have to do that over and over again, but that takes no more effort so why not?
  
  It sucks to hurt so let it go. You may be letting go of a perceived relationship but that was a fallacy of perception, nothing real, a construct of your habits, your conditioned mind, nothing more - the pain you feel and fear is absolutely one hundred percent founded on delusion. So let it go. And then return to happiness and openness and take up vulnerability again because that is the essence of flexibility, that is our true nature - movement and flexibility.